Home Sweet Home...Again ;)

The drive home was long and uneventful.  Carla was a very good girl the whole way and was super excited to be in Montana!  She LOVES Montana.  Yesterday she hung out with her Daddy and Grandparents Wright.  I went to Helena for a little back adjustment, Gary Blom is the best chiropractor in the world (just in case you are looking for a good Chiropractor).  After seeing the chiropractor I met up with Sue, we picked up my Dad and ate at the Jade Garden for lunch.  After dropping my Dad off at work Sue and I went to visit my Grandma Lois in the hospital.  She has had a lot of medical issues and now has pneumonia.  Going to a regular hospital was so different than going to the children's hospital, because everyone I saw there was very old....so different than all the children I saw at Primary.  At first I thought it was easier to see old people with failing health than young children.  Then, as we met up with Jane, Grandma's daughter, and saw her going through the same emotions we were going through with Carla such a short time ago I realized it is not different.  Losing a loved one, old or young, is just as painful.  Watching your Mother go through all the perils of bad health is just as painful as watching your child go through the perils of bad health.  I welled up with tears, understanding the pain in Jane's eyes and knowing those feelings she was having, watching her Mother so ill in the hospital and not knowing if she was going to pull through this.  I pray for God's will with Grandma Lois.  Her body is failing her so.... and I pray for myself and her family to have the strength to accept God's will.  But I also know that knowing it's God's will doesn't make it less hard to lose someone you love with every ounce of your soul.  

On my drive home from Helena I was feeling quite nostalgic and reflective of my life.  Remembering my Great Grandma Schiller, as I drove through the beautiful canyon...and all the times in years past we drove her through that same canyon so that she could enjoy the beauty of the changing leaves and scenery in general.  I remembered picnicking in Refrigerator Canyon with my Great Grandparents and the rest of the family, and taking in the beauty that is Montana.  I reflected on friendships in my life and on how recent events in my life has changed me as much as they have.  I almost feel like a stranger to myself, like recent events have changed me so much that I don't even know if I am who I was before.  But I definitely feel blessed and enlightened through it all.  I am at peace and yet in a state of constant wonder of what will be.  I can only put our lives in the Lord's hands and hope that His plan is one that I can live with and accept.  

My computer was acting up at the hospital so I wasn't able to post the following pictures, I hope you enjoy them.  Happy Wednesday!  Here's to an amazing rest of the week...and no more plastic bronchitis episodes.

Love, Jen
I am bored, I am annoyed and why on Earth are you trying to take my picture right now?

We took Carla for a walk and found these beautiful flowers on the patio at the hospital


Carla happy at the wishing pond at Primary.....she wished  to go home to Montana with quarters...I told them they were worth 25 wishes!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

What a gift you received to be able to reminisce about your life and the loved ones who helped shape who you are. I think anyone whose life has been impacted by a child with chd is never going to be the same. I know I am by far from the same person I was before my son was born. Sending prayers for comfort, understanding, patience, healing, and peace..your plate is definitely full.

mom to Brady, HLHS